Back in Cyprus after six weeks away

 A week ago we were at Gatwick Airport, a tad frustrated and rather bored because our flight back to Cyprus from the UK was delayed by a few hours. Apparently there had been a major storm in the area the night before, meaning that some incoming flights had been diverted, and they were still running late. Gatwick is a perfectly acceptable airport, but there's not a great deal to do there.  

However the flight eventually took off, and was shorter than normal due to good tailwinds, so we arrived back just under three hours after our expected arrival time. Our luggage came through quickly, and our friend Sheila met us outside; we were home, with our cases, and slightly disgruntled cats wanting to know why we were up in the middle of the night, by 2am. 

I haven't felt as brain-fogged as I usually do when flying back to Cyprus, just very tired. I've done five loads of laundry so far, and cleaned fairly thoroughly on Saturday, but not a lot else. 

I flew out of Cyprus towards the end of July, to the Midlands. It was a late evening flight, arriving at nearly midnight so I'd booked a room in a nearby Premier Inn. It was clean and comfortable, and I had a good breakfast before continuing my travels.

I took a train to the city centre, then a taxi to visit relatives who recently moved to a 'retirement village'. There was a comfortable guest apartment, and we had a quiet few days, which I very much appreciated, winding down after a busy time getting ready to travel. Then on the train to Cumbria to spend four weeks with my son, daughter-in-law and grandchildren. 

Although we did visit the family briefly last year, and chat to them regularly via the Internet, they change so fast and it was wonderful to spend time with them. There was a nearby park where they regularly rode their bikes or used their scooters. The weather was pleasantly warm, with only occasional showers of rain. 

We also read books - lots of them! - and played games, and went for walks in some of the gorgeous local countryside.

A special treat while I was there was what my granddaughter referred to as my 'holiday within a holiday' - a visit to one of the Scottish Hebridean islands.  We went to stay at a holiday home owned by the parents of some of their friends (all of whom were there too). The beaches were gorgeous:

The airport on the island was tiny, the return flight on a plane smaller than I had ever been on before, but surprisingly not at all scary. 

Four weeks after I left, Richard arrived - he had been very busy in Cyprus while I was away, with work and other activities, and looking after the house and cats too. 

Towards the end of my stay was the culmination of the trip, our younger son's wedding. We arrived a few days beforehand and there were some things that needed doing, but nothing major. He and his bride-to-be had organised everything.  

Having said that, we did spend one afternoon thoroughly cleaning the chapel:

We also watched the marquee going up on the lawn (which was brown and hard after quite a long drought). We were surprised how many people were involved in the process, which took well over an hour:

The day before the wedding, my extended family arrived; we were all staying in a nearby Travelodge.  One of my sisters-in-law had a birthday, so my brother had arranged a family meal together, which we all enjoyed thoroughly. I had a kind of halloumi fajitas, which was delicious. 

The wedding was small - with Covid still in people's minds, it was limited to family and a small number of very close friends (eg godparents) - and awesome. Afterwards there was lunch at tables on the lawn, under the marquee:

All was finished by about 6pm, but it wasn't the end of the family celebrations. One of my brothers was just a couple of days away from a milestone birthday, so we had another meal together, the day after the wedding, to celebrate that.  

Our last few days were spent near the south coast, with another relative (who was unable to come to the wedding). And then to Gatwick, and home. 

The weather here in Cyprus is not as hot as it sometimes is in September, and we learned that there was quite a heavy downpour of rain the day we flew back.  This morning for the first time since the end of June I went for an early walk with Sheila and I was quite surprised to see that there's still some water in the Salt Lake: it didn't dry out at all this summer.

I've had a wonderful summer, one of the best ever. We're now looking forward to the arrival of some friends in just a few weeks, followed by some family members mid-October. 

Out of Cyprus: ten days in the Midlands

It's over a month since I last wrote. Being a hands-on Grandma has been thoroughly enjoyable and far from full-time; but still tiring in the heat of a Cyprus summer. David is lively, talkative and energetic from the time he wakes up - usually not long after I do - until the time he falls asleep, not long after the evening meal. If I found an hour or two during the day, when David was out with someone else or playing downstairs in the guest flat with his family, I would either catch up on household jobs, or write emails, or perhaps try and put a few photos on Facebook. After he went to bed, I would usually start to clean the kitchen, and then curl up with a book for an hour or so to myself...

I write this somewhat in the past tense because I've been in the UK for the past ten days. I'm very much looking forward to seeing the family again at the end of the week, for a few more weeks until they leave Cyprus for their next adventures in Central and South America.

It was with very mixed feelings that I set off, on the evening of July 20th. I looked forward to getting out of the Cyprus heat and humidity, and I was so exhausted that I knew I needed a rest. The trigger for choosing this particular period was an invitation to my younger goddaughter's wedding in Birmingham, and I also wanted to spend a few days with my father, including helping him finish an ongoing project to write and publish his memoirs.

But although I needed a rest, and some cooler weather, I hated saying goodbye to the family. They were also struggling in the intense heat, with all usual children's activities closed for the summer, having to stay indoors for at least five or six hours during the hottest part of the day: not something appreciated by a lively and energetic three-year-old.

However, when I checked for flights on the day I wanted to fly, only about six weeks earlier, there was one direct to Birmingham for under sixty euros. It seemed to be a confirmation that I should indeed go. We didn't know, at the time, how long the family would be staying in Cyprus, and I needed to make a definite decision in order to make other arrangements.

My good friend Heather, who lives in Birmingham, suggested staying with her for three nights, and my father contacted my three siblings who live in different parts of the UK, and determined that the only day they could gather at his house for a family reunion was the day after the wedding. So, gradually, arrangements fell into place.

I arrived at Heather's via taxi from the airport shortly before 2am UK time, very tired indeed as I can never sleep on flights, but slept well and then spent a wonderful and relaxing day with her, including a visit to my other goddaughter - Heather's daughter - and her one-year-old son.

On the Saturday I caught a bus into town, where I met Tim, and we then got on another bus to take us to the wedding, which was in a small and friendly Methodist church.

All went well, the bride looked radiant, and the reception was in a lovely place set in the middle of the countryside:

I was extremely impressed by the cake, baked by the bride's mother, who had never done this kind of thing before:

I was at a table with other godparents and neighbours of the family. I didn't know any of them beforehand but they were all friendly and it was a very enjoyable day. The evening party was due to go on until midnight but I was tired, and the music was quite loud, so Tim and I left around 10pm.

On the Sunday morning I packed my case (I had travelled with hand luggage only, using a cabin bag as large as is allowed) and got on the bus to Selly Park, where I went to a pleasant service at Christ Church, which still feels like 'home' to me, even though there were only a handful of people I knew there. Tim had been staying with other friends and was there too, and afterwards we were collected by my father and driven to his house, where my siblings and families had gathered for an excellent lunch:

Tim stayed overnight and was able to help with various computer issues; on the Monday we were taken out to lunch at a nearby Carvery.

Then Tim was dropped at New Street so that he could get the train back to Surrey.

The subsequent week has raced past, and I have thoroughly enjoyed being a 'lady of leisure'. The weather has been quite rainy and not particularly warm, but we've managed a few short walks, and even some blackberrying nearby.

On Tuesday my two young step-nieces (if that's the correct relationship) were here for the day and we all went out to lunch at a garden centre. On Wednesday afternoon one of my secondary school friends came over for a couple of hours. On Thursday we went to a charity lunch organised by the local church.

My father's wife is an excellent cook, and in between the outings we have eaten some delicious meals. I've helped a bit with food preparation, but find myself much happier in the sous-chef role than being in charge of a kitchen. I don't like the word lazy...but I do appreciate an easy life! It was enjoyable, too, experimenting with one or two different things, such as these breadcrumb-and-parmesan coated courgette sticks which we had seen online, and which used up a couple of the courgettes from the garden produce:

One thing I wanted to do while staying here for a week was to help my father finish his memoirs. This project has been ongoing for at least a couple of years, and in the weeks before I arrived, he wrote a few extra chapters to fill in some gaps. I've been through the whole thing (nearly 70,000 words) editing and proof-reading and compiling into Kindle-readable versions so we and other family members could check for inaccuracies, omissions and errors.

I finished the second draft yesterday evening, with a sense of satisfaction; we hope to publish via CreateSpace later in the year.

In a few hours I will be travelling down to Surrey to spend a few days with Tim before returning to Cyprus on Friday.

End of August, out of Cyprus

I was planning to blog almost every day while out of Cyprus, but somehow the last week has flown by. So just a few highlights instead.

On Monday, which was the August bank holiday, we decided to go and visit a garden centre a few miles away, just to have an afternoon somewhere different. It was a pleasant place:

We hadn't been there long when Richard said, in some surprise, 'Wow! There's an optimist!' I looked around, wondering who he had seen. Was it, perhaps, a girl in a skimpy sundress, quite unsuited to the grey skies? Or maybe an elderly man pushing an enormous trolley, planning to buy huge numbers of plants.

No... it wasn't in fact an optimist he was referring to, but an Optimist. A small dinghy. Right in the middle of the garden centre:

We have no idea why it was there, other than to make the place considerably more interesting to Richard.

Thus - well, apart from about three games of Scrabble - ended our time in Sussex.

On Tuesday we drove up to Birmingham, making a brief diversion to High Wycombe to drop something off. We stopped for lunch at a service station we had previously rejected because it advertised a kind of coffee that Richard doesn't much like. However it turned out to be a sort of food court with several possible places to eat - we were tempted by three or four kinds of sandwiches, all good value. Eventually we opted for this:

The baguettes were extremely good, and I think the coffee would have been good if we'd had it in crockery cups. We didn't realise until part way through eating that we'd bought our lunch at the take-away section of a shop that also did coffee in proper cups. Unfortunately take-away cups always seem to taste rather plasticky.

By mid-afternoon we were in Birmingham, re-united with Tim.

On Wednesday we spent the day in Alcester, where we played four games of Rummikub among other things.

On Thursday Richard had a meeting with the new Trustees of his organisation, where he had a surprisingly good experience with a local bank. Meanwhile I had a thoroughly enjoyable afternoon of reminiscing and laughter with two very good friends whom I've known since my teens, but have not seen much of for some time.

In the evening, we played our first game of Settlers of Catan for over a week. I think we must have been in withdrawal after all that time.

It was a good game; Tim won eventually but nobody was far behind.

Then at last Friday dawned, really the most important day of this UK visit, the one around which we planned our travels. Our goddaughter Emma was married to Jon, in a lovely ceremony at St Germain's Church:

It was followed by a reception at Rowheath Pavilion, which felt a little strange as it used to be almost home territory for us. The Pavilion housed both the toddler group and playgroup that our sons went to, twenty-plus years ago, and we walked through the park every day when they went to school.

The park looked much the same as it ever did, although the trees were perhaps bigger:

Brief cameos from May in Cyprus

Not only have I rather neglected this blog in the past few weeks, I've hardly used my camera, either. I'm not sure why. But here, for anyone interested, are a few brief updates from the past month, along with the rather paltry contents of my camera... 

Firstly, a scene that I thought very pretty when we drove past the Salt Lake one evening at sunset. We just stopped at some traffic lights so I didn't have time to try different settings on the camera. I didn't even keep it still enough to be sharp - but the silhouettes are quite attractive:

The Salt Lake is still very full, given that it's the end of May. We've had a couple of quite heavy rain showers this month, and even today there was a little rain. The long, relatively cool spring is very pleasant. While people in the UK are currently basking in (or complaining about) temperatures of 25-28C, I've acclimatised sufficiently to find similar temperatures in Cyprus pleasantly cool. 

The downside of a longer, wetter spring is that mosquitoes seem to have bred out of all proportion, and we've even had some 'no-see-um's' around, giving nasty bites that swell like those of biting spiders. Last night we made the mistake of having a couple of windows open after dark. This morning I found hundreds of little mosquitoes all over them. Apologies to animal activists... but I showed no mercy. 

The majority of May has been taken up with the closing down of the office about a kilometre away where Richard has been working for many years.  His colleagues are leaving, for various reasons, and the costs - particularly electricity bills - were becoming far too high. So the organisation has down-sized, and Richard will now be working from home. He was in the middle of the first sabbatical he had taken in over twenty years, so had to put that on hold for a while, to move equipment and furniture, and re-organise a couple of rooms in our house. He had already taken over what was Daniel's room as his study; he has now completely redesigned the 'studio' in our guest flat as a video editing suite. 

Ten days ago was the official closing date of the bigger office; we got together with the workers (past and present) and their families, and the trustees of the organisation in our home for a big lunch and party to celebrate the last twelve or so years. Change is not necessarily a bad thing, and it was good to catch up with so many people - but I didn't think of getting the camera out to record such a momentous occasion. Ah well.

Since then, Richard has worked hard to clear out the rest of the office, culminating in a skip last Friday. It will be handed back to the landlord at the end of the month. He would like to resume his sabbatical in June, but may have to spend some weeks on sorting out some technical things first. 

Although the office relocation has taken up almost all of Richard's time, and much of our emotion for the past month, life has continued as ever, spending time with friends, playing games, and so on. 

Earlier in the month, we attended a Greek Orthodox wedding for the first time. It was in a local church with magnificent paintings up high, and a large number of people in the congregation. The bride is the daughter of some of the people we have known longest in Cyprus. 

Then, last Friday evening, at the regular informal 'cell group' we belong to, Richard and our almost-ten-year-old friend Lukas had an enjoyable half hour experimenting with some old brass goblets which we had no use for (but Lukas loved), filling them with different amounts of water and testing the pitch. Richard's iPhone was able to tell them the approximate note, and Lukas eventually played a tune - of sorts. 

It was what we thought of as a typical 'home education' moment - I'm not sure if one would class it as physics or music, or just a bit of exploratory science, but it's the kind of thing that arises spontaneously and which we would miss, now we're empty-nesters, if it weren't for our nearby friends. 

Oh, and for anyone wondering about my broken toes... they seem to be mostly better. I made my first trip to a local shop on my own about a week ago, and even walked to the Anglican Church on my own yesterday (it being Pentecost Sunday in the Western calendar). But they're still not 100%, and my pace is a great deal slower than I like to walk. 

Daniel and Becky's Wedding

A week ago I wrote about the run-up to the wedding. A busy week, though it was so good to spend time with both my sons, and also good to get acquainted with Becky's family.

So, Saturday morning dawned... sunny, and not too cold. Just as well, since my outfit wasn't particularly warm, and I really didn't want to have to wear tights. Around 10.30 we drove to the house where Daniel has been living... he seemed quite relaxed:


It wasn't until we'd been there about half an hour or so that I noticed that he had shaved off his beard!

Around 11.45 we departed, to have lunch with my three siblings and their families near the Cathedral, leaving Daniel in the hands of his two 'best men': Tim and Euan.

By the time we arrived at St James' Church, around 1.20 or so, Daniel had - as another friend put it - scrubbed up nicely:


As the extended family arrived, he was happy to sit and chat:


Gradually the church filled up. In addition to the family, plus a very few long-term family friends (such as godparents) there were several of Daniel and Becky's colleagues and church friends from Carlisle, most of whom had had some part in preparing for their special day. There were also a few ex-Doulos friends who had been able to come for the weekend.

Shortly before 2.00, Daniel and his best men sat in the chairs put out for them in front of the pews:


John, the Vicar, chatted with them, then went to check that Becky had indeed arrived. He came back to report to Daniel that there was a reason for him to be there... and as the music started for the entrance of the bridesmaids and bride, he, Tim and Euan stood up to await them:


The camera was rolling, the Vicar ready, Euan and Tim mildly curious to see how the girls would be dressed... and Daniel had a wonderful look of anticipation on his face!

Becky's brother and his wife are worship pastors at a church in Canada; they had agreed to lead all the singing in the service, and did so competently on guitar and piano.

It was, of course, Daniel and Becky's day. But I couldn't help a tinge of extra pride when Tim read - extremely well - the passage they had asked for, the classic one about love from 1 Corinthians 13.


The sermon followed... we all wondered what was going on at first, since John simply sat in his chair, as if waiting for someone else. But it quickly became apparent that it was part of his talk... when he eventually stood up (the pause was probably no more than a minute, though it felt very long) his opening words were, 'Love is patient!'

He spoke very well, directed towards the happy couple, and was refreshingly brief. Then came the most important part of the ceremony. Earlier in the service Daniel and Becky had given their consent ("I will") to his questions. Now they had to make their vows and give each other rings:


After that, John invited them to 'greet each other in a culturally appropriate way'. But it didn't feel appropriate to take a photo at that point...

Then came the legal requirement, that of signing the registers in the vestry. In fountain pen. First Daniel:


Then Becky:


Tim and one of the bridesmaids were the official witnesses.

After that, we all went out in formation, returned briefly so that a group photo could be taken from the balcony, and then outside for many more official and unofficial photos. Here's one of Becky with her three bridesmaids:


The bride and groom then left with the official photographer for some more pictures around Carlisle, and the rest of us gradually made our way to the community hall where the reception was held, about ten miles away from the church. There was plenty of time to greet people we knew, and be introduced to some we didn't know. There was a table for any presents that had been brought to the ceremony, and - an idea I had never seen before - a table with cards for people to write special messages, if they wished.


Food started being served around 6.00pm, beginning with soup, followed by spit-roast lamb and other alternatives, and a wide variety of salads. All produced by one of Daniel's colleagues who used to be a chef. Desserts were many and varied, brought by several of Dan and Becky's friends. Then it was time for speeches and toasts:



Richard managed to record the second part of Daniel's speech (most of which was taken up with thanking everyone) and all of Tim's, which was deliberately brief. Rather echo-ey, but here it is anyway:

Then the tables were cleared and pushed to the sides, and it was time for the evening ceilidh. Daniel and Becky were invited to open it with a special waltz, but although they'd been primed by Euan, their minds apparently went blank and he had to take to the floor too before they got started:

That was followed by a standard and very enjoyable barn dance. Several guests had to leave around 8.00 to get home, but there were a good number who stayed to dance until the taxi arrived about 11.00 to take them to their honeymoon destination. By then they had changed into ordinary clothes, so the band got the rest of us to make an archway to see them off!

All in all, a wonderful day. I don't quite know how my firstborn can be old enough to get married... twenty-four-and-a-half years seem to have gone in the blink of an eye. But we're delighted that he's found such a lovely girl, and hope and pray that their marriage will be happy and fulfilled.

Run-up to the wedding

There was an important wedding at the end of April. Indeed, it was the primary reason for our being in the UK rather than Cyprus at this time of year.

And no, I'm not referring to the wedding in London on the 29th, but the one in Carlisle on the 30th, when we gained a wonderful daughter-in-law.

Rather than post directly about Daniel and Becky's wedding, however, I'll begin with a brief round-up of the preceding week.

We drove up to Carlisle on Easter Monday. It's about a four hour journey, and the motorways were pretty clear. We stopped for lunch on the way, at a service station, and arrived mid-afternoon. Becky and her family were out so we went to the house where Daniel has been living, guided by the pseudo-satnav application Richard has on his iPhone, with a voice called 'Kate'.

It was the first time in almost exactly a year that the four of us had been together. Unsurprisingly, within half an hour or so, computers appeared... mainly because the rest of the family wanted to sort out whether or not it would be possible to stream the wedding to various family and friends around the world who were not able to attend. Here we are, all four...


Daniel had far too much on his mind to think much about food, so we bought an (excellent) Indian takeaway meal which we enjoyed. Daniel's housemate Euan and his friend Bridget were around, so we thought it would be a good opportunity for a six-person Settlers game:


I was quite tired, and it wasn't until we'd been playing for a while that I realised why this set seemed SO familiar to me. It's a German one, identical to (though a little older than) that of our friends in Cyprus. There were a few bits missing - this set travelled around the world on the MV Doulos, and has had more than one owner - but nothing that caused any problem.

Tim was staying with Daniel and Euan, sleeping on the sofa in their front room; Richard and I stayed for the week with some other colleagues of theirs, a lovely couple with three teenage daughters who made us feel very at home.

On Tuesday morning we went into the town - I managed to find a blue 'shrug' thing that would go well with the skirt I'd found, but no luck at all with shoes. Richard and Daniel hung out in a rather nice coffee shop. We also went to see the community centre which was booked for the wedding reception, and talked to the manager about 'corkage fees' and what the bar staff would do. Oh, and we had a brief foray into Daniel's office too.

In the afternoon, we drove thirty miles or so to Keswick, a town which I had only previously heard of in conjunction with a Christian convention that some of our friends and acquaintances go to.

The reason we went there was that Becky and her family had arranged to go there for the afternoon; her brother and his Canadian wife had just arrived in Carlisle with their ten-month-old daughter, and Becky wanted to show them something of the area.

Keswick turned out to be a lovely town by a lake, with plenty of places to walk.


It was a little chilly, being quite cloudy, but it was good to meet our new potential in-laws.

On the way home we stopped at Tesco to buy some food, and - ironically - I managed to find some suitable shoes for the wedding which Richard liked very much! We also started talking more about wine for the wedding... the reception hall has a bar, but we wanted to greet guests with a drink (wine or juice) and also have a choice of sparkling wine or Shloer for the toasts. Since we knew that local people would be buying wine in large quantities for parties on the 29th (while watching the other wedding) Richard suggested going back to Tesco's with Daniel that evening, so they could actually buy what was needed. Tesco had some special offers on... so that's what they did. Tim, Euan, Bridget and I played another game of Settlers meanwhile.

Wednesday morning was taken up with technical details - trying to work out how to get the streaming to work. Wires borrowed from the office, discussions with the church staff, trying to figure out if it was possible... eventually deciding that the best option was to use Richard's phone (the technical details are beyond me). In the afternoon Richard and Tim continued with this while I took Daniel into Carlisle to buy him a posh shirt for the wedding, and also some walking shoes.

In the evening was the wedding rehearsal, where Tim and Richard managed to get the streaming to work, tested by our friends in Cyprus. The Vicar was very helpful, and all seemed to go well:


After the rehearsal, we went out to eat with Becky and her family at a local Indian restaurant.

Thursday was mostly taken up with proof-reading, formatting and eventually printing the service sheet. Amazing how complex it was, but the result was very effective. In the afternoon, Tim went to help the caterer collect crockery and cutlery.

In the evening Daniel, Tim and Euan went out to eat with a few other (male) friends - the nearest they got to a stag night. Meanwhile, we went to the reception venue to meet Becky, her mum, and Bridget, to make the tables look pretty with runners, napkins, cutlery, tea-lights and tiny vials of bubble mixture:


We also took all the drinks to be stored, temporarily, in the venue's cellar, and Richard talked some more with the staff about how it would be served.

We didn't have anything much planned for Friday. We hung out with Daniel and Tim in the morning, and he started packing his things since Euan will move them to the house Becky has been living in, to start their married life when they get back from honeymoon. After lunch we went into the town again, as Daniel wanted to spend some time with Becky and we enjoyed wandering round Carlisle's quite amazing second-hand bookshop. Tim went to meet his girlfriend Jo at the station, then in the evening cooked us a meal for the last evening before Daniel became a married man.

Out of Cyprus: proof-reading, outfit-hunting and Settlers...

The main reason why I came to the UK nine days ago rather than travelling with Richard in a few days' time is so that I could help Tim with proof-reading his third year dissertation, and four other essays or commentaries. They're all rather important and he was feeling somewhat overwhelmed. And while I can - and have - proof-read by email, he prefers notes hand-written on a print-out. One essay is due on Tuesday, the rest on May 3rd. However we shall be in Carlisle until May 2nd (which is a public holiday) so he really wanted to get everything finished and handed in before Easter.

25,000 words is quite a bit to proof-read in a week, and not everything was written. But we seem to be doing all right. The essay due on Tuesday was proofed, tweaked, printed and handed in on Friday. The dissertation has had its final comments from Tim's mentor, and will have its final proof-reading on Monday. The other three assignments are in various stages, but the end seems to be in sight.

In between proof-reading, I've enjoyed spending time with a very good friend (on Tuesday), one of my brothers and his wife (on Wednesday), meeting a long-time email acquaintance (on Thursday) and spending an evening with some other friends (on Friday).

As well as that, Tim and I have played Settlers of Catan regularly, to help him relax. I've slightly lost track, but I think we've now played three two-person games, two (or is it three?) three-person games with my mother, and one particularly good five-person game on Wednesday:


It's a mark of Tim's stressed state that while he usually wins rather more than half of the games he plays, he hasn't yet won a single game since my arrival.

There's one other thing I planned to do this week - I wanted to find a suitable outfit to wear for Daniel and Becky's wedding, which is in two weeks' time. I knew I wouldn't find anything suitable in Cyprus; I searched several online stores before I left, and didn't see anything very inspiring. But I knew there are plenty of clothes shops in Birmingham, and thought I'd be spoilt for choice. I expected to narrow the search down to two or three shops, perhaps half a dozen possibilities, and would then get Richard to make the final choice when he's here. He does actually like clothes shopping, while I decidedly don't.

Knowing I'd be seeing various friends, and wanting flexibility, I bought a weekly bus pass on Monday. Off-peak only, but that's not a problem. I have no need to travel before 9.30am or between 4.30pm and 6.00pm. I might be frightened of the London Underground, but I am quite competent with Birmingham buses.

Kings Heath - walking distance from here - is my usual first port of call. I like browsing the charity shops, and there are several clothes chains where I've bought clothes before - Peacocks, Bon Marche, Store 21 (which used to be BeWise). They usually have plenty of stock, the prices are reasonable, and I like the styles.

Huh. This year, despite it being on mid-April, the shops are full of floaty sun-dresses. Either skimpily short, or full-length. I don't want either. Part of the problem is that I really don't know whether I want a dress with a sort of 'shrug' (if that's the word), or a skirt and top with some kind of jacket, or a trouser suit. I'd be most comfortable in the latter... but am not entirely sure how well that would go down as 'mother of the groom'.

Kings Heath proving uninspiring, my friend on Tuesday took me to a couple of shops in Bearwood that had some possible outfits, but none that leapt out at me. On Thursday I searched around the City Centre - BHS, Debenhams, other branches of the shops I'd already seen, Primark... I even swallowed my pride and went into Marks and Spencers. In all the shops, as in Kings Heath, I saw one or two tops that I quite liked, and some colours that were 'my' colours... but, again, nothing I really liked, nothing that stood out as being appropriate.

Yesterday I went to Northfield which used to have some reasonable clothes shops. I did manage to find a good backpack at an excellent price... but the shops in general looked very run-down and had less of a selection than Kings Heath. Still, I had a very scenic ride back, on a bus I had never used before that drove through the attractively leafy suburbs of Bournville, where we used to live.

Today I went to Kings Heath again. I even looked through the charity shops - I like them anyway, and just occasionally there's a lovely outfit in my size. Not this time. I didn't spend much time - I was buying one or two other things anyway - but have to admit that I did begin to feel just a little frisson of concern, since I have to find something within the next two weeks... and four of the days in the next fortnight are public holidays.

I'm well aware that it's a good problem to have. I'm extremely thankful that I don't have the major concerns so many of my friends and relatives have - health worries, family troubles, money problems, and worse. I'm extremely blessed by so many people and circumstances, and am very much looking forward to the wedding.

But it would be nice if I knew what I was going to wear...